Why You Should Avoid Emotional Storytelling During Your Divorce
Divorce is an emotional time, and it’s natural to want to vent or share the pain and frustrations of your situation. However, when it comes to your divorce proceedings and communication with your divorce lawyer, it’s essential to keep emotions in check. The more you focus on telling the “story” of your marriage and the issues that led to its end, the more time (and money) you’ll spend—often with little impact on the actual outcome of the case.
Here’s why keeping emotional storytelling to a minimum is key:
1. It Doesn’t Affect the Legal Process
Minnesota is a no-fault divorce state, meaning that the reasons behind the breakdown of the marriage—whether it’s infidelity, disagreements, or other conflicts—aren’t relevant to how the court will divide property, determine custody, or award spousal maintenance. The legal system is focused on practical matters like finances, parenting plans, and asset division. Spending time discussing emotional details will not change how these issues are resolved.
2. It Costs You Money
Divorce attorneys charge by the hour, and every extra minute you spend on emotional conversations is time billed to you. Venting to your lawyer about your ex-spouse’s behavior might feel therapeutic, but it can significantly increase your legal fees without moving your case forward. If you need emotional support, it’s best to reach out to a therapist or trusted friend.
3. It Can Strain Your Lawyer-Client Relationship
Your lawyer’s job is to advocate for your legal interests, not to mediate personal or emotional issues. When you focus too much on storytelling, it can make it harder for your lawyer to do their job efficiently. Lawyers want to help their clients achieve the best possible outcome, and that means focusing on strategy and the facts that matter legally—not personal grievances. Keeping communication focused will help your lawyer stay on task and work more effectively for you.
By staying focused on the facts that matter legally, you’ll not only save money but also improve your lawyer-client relationship and streamline the divorce process. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by emotions during your divorce, seeking emotional support from other sources can be a healthy way to cope while allowing your lawyer to focus on the legal issues that matter most.
